You’ve already taken the 1st step in overcoming
your negative response to anger. Hopefully that acknowledgement of a problem
will propel you forward. Perhaps some of my thoughts as follows will assist
Identify the cause of your displeasure - Keep
a journal and annotate what triggered your anger and the resultant self-abuse
behavior. Were you feeling frustrated, disappointed, powerless in efforts to
have what you wanted, resentful or angry at others, etc.? List the feelings that you had before and
after the angry outburst occurred. For
example you may feel afraid of yourself, may have felt embarrassed, or felt
like you might be arrested, placed in a hospital for your own protection, or
feel like you wanted to harm someone else.
Many episodes of self-destructive behaviors
are a result of some type of irrational fear. For example some individuals
may feel like they are “No Good”, nobody cares about me anyway, or
that things will never change. It is helpful to identify those fears and
confirm to yourself that they are irrational.
Review the causes and irrational fears as
outlined in your journal. Set up positive alternatives to your
self-destructive behavior. For example
scream in a private place, cry, talk to others, listen to music, and most of
all promote self-esteem by reaffirming to yourself that you are a valuable
This problem will not just disappear. Ask
friends, family, church clergy, school officials, or your physician for help
and guidance with a confidential problem. Join an anger management support group. Many
times these groups are run in an anonymous fashion. Sometimes just listening to others who have
had your same feelings; and having a forum for you to express your feelings,
can lead to improvement of your condition.
If things become too overwhelming and you feel
like hurting yourself or others, it is time to seek professional treatment
through counseling and medications.
Best wishes for a productive journey in liking yourself
and in experiencing a joyful life.
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