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    Q.

    What does one do when her partner is asexual? He could care less about intercourse,but is very affectionate otherwise

    We've been seeing each other for over 2 years,and the intimacy is just not there,except for kissing,holding hands,hugging,that's it. I love this guy very much and am not going to run away,but was just wondering about this...we're both in our late 50's

     

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    A.
    We men also feel a loss of interest,is this the same as loss of libido?? At 65,And,after 28 yrs of marriage,even I feel a fear of failure when the erections are not as frequent as in our younger years.

    We often have high blood pressure,which calls for other meds,not conducive to an erection,,,
    Make a rule to touch each other before sleep,it keeps us close.The erectile medicine works well also,and proves that,its only a matter of blood flow,Enjoy. 

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    A.
    As a sixty year old male I can tell you that Intercourse is a risky business. Men at our age may be fearful of not being able to perform. That having been said here is what needs to happen. You must start a conversation about your desires and expectations. I find that many people want to have sex but they don't want to talk about sex. You not mature enough to have sex if you are not mature enough to talk about sex. ask if there is a medical problem. then ask if there is something that can be done (BLUE PILL AND THE LIKE) DON'T MAKE INTERCOURSE THE BE ALL AND END ALL OF SEX. There other ways to be intimate. Serious foreplay and oral sex, role playing games mutual masturbation. be willing to explore and be willing to do what it takes to satisfy each other. REMEMBER THE BRAIN IS THE LARGEST SEXUAL ORGAN IN THE BODY.  NOW GO PLAY AND HAVE FUN.

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    At first when she told me that sex was out and kissing was out, I was devastated as I was most attracted.  Since then we have cuddled and I have found another who is more participatory.  Maybe this other gal is better for me.  I am busy trying to find my way in a forest of goddesses, so the key is how well you can talk, especially about sex.  If it avoided as a topic it may be the best indicator that it will not improve, unfortunately.  Friendships are fine but they really take second place to a potential sexual and sensual partner.  So the priorities shift based on what you think is happening, and the only way to judge is based on what is said.  In many cases it takes risk to raise certain subjects, and once one risk is made unsuccessfully another risk is less likely and the final outcome is evident.  Can't get blood from a stone.  Norl sexual love from someone unwilling, tha'ts a good taboo.  Find someone willing is the only way out of the dilemma.

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    A.
    Thanks for asking this question.  I dated a man (he was in his mid-40's) for awhile who was asexual.   He was affectionate otherwise.  We traveled together, slept together,  but we never had sex. We split up for other reasons non-related to this.  I found some information on the internet, but not much to explain why this is so for some.

    Certainly other medical issue can come into play, but I don't think that was true in this case.

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