If you masturbate frequently, you may have accustomed yourself to the friction of your own hand. Try varying your masturbation technique: use lube to simulate a wet mouth, use a lighter touch, etc. I would also add that if you are basing what you think your sexual response ought to be on images from pornography, you may have the idea that all men can come from oral sex. Keep in mind that even in pornography, most of the men masturbate themselves to finish, rather than finishing in their partner's mouth.
I will just add in closing that I'm 39 and straight (and circumcised, though there's nothing either of us can do about that), and I have a lot of difficulty coming from oral or manual, too. It's frustrating, but you may have to accept it as normal for you. Maybe receiving anal is simply the best way for your body to get off, just as for me, vaginal sex is the best way. That said, again I would vary your masturbation technique, maybe even cut out masturbation for awhile and see if that helps you have a stronger, easier sexual response.
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