I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, and I'm sorry to hear your physician doesn't have someone covering while he's on vacation.

If your mother's blood pressure stays elevated at that level all day long, she should get treatment. Those numbers are too high and, you're right, she's at risk for stroke.

I also want to say, however, that as long as your mother understands the risks involved with allowing her blood pressure to remain high, and as long as she is not suffering from dementia or some sort of inability to make her own decisions, she has the right to refuse treatment. Have you discussed with her what her wishes are? Does she understand she could suffer serious consequences, including death, if she doesn't get her blood pressure under control? If she does, then you need to accept her wishes.

Have you discussed your mother's end-of-life wishes with her? It can be a difficult conversation to have, but anyone who's 81 years old needs to discuss these things with his or her loved ones. Perhaps your mother wants every effort made to preserve her life for as long as possible. Or perhaps she wishes to let her life wind down and die as peacefully as possible. Those choices are hers, but they should be communicated to her family. If you aren't comfortable talking with your mom about this, you might consider bringing in a minister, nurse, or social worker to help have this conversation.

You're a wonderful daughter, watching out for your mother's health. I wish you both all the best!

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