While children between the age of 2 and 6 are known to have high levels of food neophobia (fear of new foods), it's red flag when they only eat a handful of food and act out. What is also worrisome is the strain this has on your attachment to your son. I recommend that you get an evaluation from an Occupational Therapist or Speech Therapist that specializes in feeding disorders. There could be sensory issues or oral/motor problems or another underlying problem (especially since you say he's always been like this). If nothing comes up, go see a pediatric dietitian. He or she can help you not only meet your son's nutritional needs, but feed him in a way that will make meals more peaceful and him more open to new foods. Don't stop until you get the help you need!
In the meantime, do not make food a battle. Offer food on a regular schedule (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner) and follow a division of responsibility where you decide the what, when and where of eating and he decides whether or not to eat. When he complains or acts out let him know that he doesn't have to eat it but he does have to join you at the table for a while. Putting pressure on a child only makes it worse. Hang in there!
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