Below are just a few of the strategies to help children recover from and prevent emotional outbursts. As hard as it might be, it’s worth taking a breath and giving this a try:

• Acknowledge the feelings but not the intensity:  When you see your child becoming emotional, acknowledging his feelings can prevent an outburst.  You might say something like, “You’re disappointed that…”; or, ” You feel mad about…” This can help him or her feel understood; which will help them relax and settle down.

• It’s important to note that you are not saying that their response is reasonable. For instance, you may not think there is anything important to be getting angry about. You are simply labeling their feeling and acknowledging it exists.

• Set limits on behavior: Sometimes children will get their way by threatening to have a tantrum. Your child needs to know you are not afraid of this; and that you will set limits for inappropriate behaviors despite their tantrums.

• Teach calming self-talk: Explain to your children how the way people talk to themselves can make them more or less distressed. For instance, “This is awful! It’s horrible! I can’t stand it!” is the kind of self-talk that will make them increasingly upset. On the other hand, they can calm themselves down by saying things like, “I don’t like it, but it won’t kill me;” or “It’s not the worst thing in the world.”

• Plan distress tolerance strategies: To help your child prevent outbursts, work with them to come up with different ways that they can calm themselves. For instance, they can draw pictures, run outside, use play dough, listen to music, read, or blow bubbles (especially with long, slow exhales). 

• Conduct a postgame review: Once your child is calm after a meltdown, it can be helpful to briefly review what happened. Acknowledge that it is hard to think clearly during an outburst, and suggest that it’s a good idea to have a plan for the next time they get upset. Then help them find better ways of coping, letting them do most of the work.

This answer should not be considered medical advice...This answer should not be considered medical advice and should not take the place of a doctor’s visit. Please see the bottom of the page for more information or visit our Terms and Conditions.