I'm curious from this whether you are sure that you want out. So, if you have any doubts, now is the time to fully consider them. However, if you are sure, then I think you know that you need to tell her. I'm also guessing that you are desperate for a way to not hurt her. However, as IslandL said, there is no way to do this-- she's going to feel hurt (unless, she secretly really wants out, too; but from what you write, I doubt that).
Separating your lives is a big "project," and like any big project, it's best to have a general plan, but then focus on one step at a time. Some of the major "steps" seem to be: talking with her and working through the emotions of the situation, separating personal items, figuring out a way to divide up shared things, and finding a way to earn more money or live on the money you already have coming in. I think of it this way: Always keep one eye on where you want to go and the other on each step along the way.
This is all advice that you might already know. I think the really hard part is living through it. You need to take a deep breath, and to reach inside to find the courage to do this. And, I also suggest that you find and accept support where you can.
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